Bittersweet Summer

It's been about a month and a half since my beloved mother in law passed away. I still grieve not having her around. I miss hearing her voice and her infectious spirit. This was our first trip to Fripp Island without her and it was tough. I never realized what a huge hole would remain without her presence. Her spirit was felt throughout our time there. I know for me, there were moments I would look out to the ocean and feel rushes of inspiration and joy. Moments where I could hear her laughter at the sight and jokes of what we were all doing or saying.















She was a beautiful human being and I aspire to imitate all the wonderful qualities that she possessed. I miss you Mama, and I hope we all make you so very proud.

Brayden turned two in June and that was another difficult time for me. For personal reasons I won't mention why, but it was a very hard month of June. I swear there were moments when I felt like it just couldn't get any worse. My kids were the only reason I was motivated to press on. Regardless, my son turned two and it was a reason to celebrate.















He's such a sweet, and sensitive boy who loves his "Momminy" (what he calls me). And I love him to bits and pieces.

Madison is now 10 months old (OMG!!) She turns one in September and I've been obsessed with having her party be "owl" themed. She's certainly a night owl, and she sure had a serious face so it's quite appropriate that we have the owl themed birthday party.

Nathan is currently working on the last chapter of his thesis (hale-frickin-lujah!) and should be done by the end of this upcoming week. He'll defend his thesis and has a job lined up to start as soon as he officially graduates. It's been a looooooong 5 1/2 years of school full time.

Me? I'm just trying to finally take hold of the things that I have an interest in. Things like crafts, painting, working out and making more of an effort to eat organically. I love that our town has a Farmer's Market every Sunday. I get to take the kids and expose them to supporting our local farmers and eating the freshest of produce.

I'd STILL like to take some sewing lessons, maybe take Madison for some swimming lessons in the Fall, and get Brayden in a part time day care situation so he gets acclimated with being around other children without "Momminy." When I say part time, I'm talking about 1-2 days a week (half days). I don't want the change to be so drastic for him so I'll get advice.

Other than that, here's some pics of the kiddos:

Happy Spring!

The weather is FINALLY cooperating after all the rainfall we've had this past month. Our condo that we own and rent out flooded and our tenant moved out. We're still in the process of applying for a loan and getting the place reconstructed. The clean-up crew tore out all the lower kitchen cabinets and the bath fitter to get behind the walls and deal with all the moisture.

Not something we want to be dealing with when Nathan's trying to apply for jobs and finish his thesis. It's honestly been quite stressful for us. I take care of home/kids and Nathan has school, condo issues and jobs to deal with. I think it's safe to say that we both feel stretched and stressed out. Whenever I get like this I go into survival mode. When Nathan gets like this, he's not motivated to do anything.

This too shall pass I guess.

Brayden's now 22 months old and Madison is 7 months old. They're now at a point where they interact more. When I'm in the car with them, Brayden will look over to Madison and make funny noises and get her laughing out loud. It's the sweetest thing to witness. He's also displayed lots of nurturing qualities. When Madison's crying, he'll bring a toy to her and try to put it in her hand. Just a couple of days ago, Brayden was playing with one of his plastic trucks on the floor next to Maddy. She tore that thing out of his hands so fast it left him stunned. I chuckled underneath my breath.


















She's sitting up perfectly and can play on her own for quite a while. She has two bottom teeth that are as sharp as razors. Her hair is finally growing in, and fast too! It looks like it's blonde. Her eyes are getting lighter and lighter as well. She's about 22 pounds and wears a size 5 diaper! Yes I know, many toddlers (like my son) wear size 5 diapers. What can I say? Baby got back.

Brayden has really turned a corner with his vocabulary. He randomly repeats words we say and constantly says, "What's that?" Our favorite words that he says are "Awesome," "Bicycle," and some of the names of our family members where he'll say it one letter off because he can't pronounce certain ones. He also surprises me with how many letters he can recognize. We'd be at a store and he'll look up at a sign and point to a letter and say it out loud. Thanks to Sesame Street and Nathan and I teaching him.

I've joined a gym and started going consistently with the kids. I actually hired a personal trainer for 4 sessions just to get me jump-started and motivated. This was the first time I actually did something for myself consistently. It's amazing how wonderful I feel after hitting the gym. I've lost 4 pounds so far since I started and I'm in between sizes. Realistically I'd like to be a size 4-6. I have a crap load of clothes in the attic that are collecting dust and I'd LOVE to fit into them. I realize I'll never be a size 2 again so I'll be donating those clothes.

I digressed a bit...back to the gym...Brayden on the other hand has not adjusted to the child care provided there. He now has separation anxiety. I've been called to come and get him within 25 minutes of working out. The last time went I asked the child care provider to keep him in there for another 15 minutes. He finally got over the hump of trying to make himself sick from crying and calmed down a bit. But now when I leave a room, he goes nuts and thinks I'm going to leave him for good. I know this is to be expected since he's never been in daycare before. They encouraged me to be consistent with him in bringing him back. Eventually he'll get use to it.

Quick Bits

Wow. It's been 4 moths since my last post. I'll have you all know that it's been filled with the craziness of kids, Words with Friends (an iPhone app. equivalent to Scrabble) and lots of wine. I keep on forgetting that there are some people that follow my blog. In the words of Gilly (SNL), Ssssssorry.
























Brayden will be turning 2 in June (holy crap) and Madison will be 6 months old on the 22nd of this month. What can I say besides the fact that I feel like my life is a temporary blur? I'm now getting to the point where I can take my chubby butt to the gym. I purposely added a temporary personal trainer to my gym membership to whip me back into shape. I needed motivation and drive. I need to regain my life back in whatever way I can get it.

It feels good to do something for myself you know? Like, I feel I'm a better mother because of it. At first I felt guilt because the child care providers at the gym didn't interact with my kids as much as I do. But really...who will ever love your own children as much as you do right? But I press on because I know that social time with other children is good for them, and alone time is good for me.

Brayden has been chatting his face off. Not that I can make out what he's actually saying. I just say "Yeaa Ok...wow, cool" and go from there. You can tell he wants to communicate so bad. He anticipates the moment I bring Madison down in the morning. He yells, "That's the Baby!" when I come down the stairs. He loves her and tries to make her laugh. It's the sweetest thing to witness. Madison in turn loves him as well and laughs out loud whenever he's near her.

I'm quickly realizing that they are both so different from each other. Madison seems very clingy with me whereas Brayden wasn't. She also seems a bit more impatient and a lot more needy. Overall Brayden's been such a good brother. He loves to harass her when she's in her jumper seat. He'll run around it and press and spin everything that makes noise or spin, causing her to blink a mile a minute.






















I'm afraid Madison will be forced to toughen up due to the circumstances. But I feel deep down inside that she's very much capable of being tough. Just like her Mommy. But let me tell you that if Brayden ever tortures her, I'll be the first one to pin him down and let her get even. ;-P

Madison Sky Maugel

No I'm not 7 weeks overdue. I've just been too lazy/busy/tired to blog ever since I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Madison. She was born on Nathan's birthday on September 22 at 12:38 pm. She was 8 pounds, 7 ounces (an ounce heavier than Brayden was) and 21.5 inches long. I had a c-section and it was a good thing I did because my doctor later on told me that my uterus was so thin, that she could see Madison's head moving back and forth through it. If I went through a vaginal birth, my uterus could have ruptured and it wouldn't have been a pretty sight.






















She came out kicking and screaming. She sounded pissed. And I thought to myself, "this is going to be the feisty one." It's so surreal when you're lying on an operating table looking up at those bright spot lights. You're being cut open and you don't feel a darn thing. All I felt were the jitters from all the drugs in my body keeping me numb. Hearing the beeping sounds of what my heart rate was on the monitor and other random beeping sounds almost became a theraputic sound for me as I waited anxiously for the arrival of our baby girl.

She seemed smaller, or at least seemed smaller than what I remember Brayden looking but much to our surprise she was an ounce heavier. Madison's hair was long and dark and she inherited her Daddy's lips. Her feet were short and chubby and her hands looked like mine. She was the perfect little girl and I was so relieved she had finally come! After they wheeled me to our room they placed her in my arms and I took that opportunity to see if she'd nurse. And she did like a pro! I was so relieved because Brayden had a lot of trouble with it and I feared the same would happen. But she knew exactly what she wanted and knew what to do. That's my girl!!

















I missed Brayden terribly and could not wait to see him. I knew I'd feel that way since it was just him and I spending everyday together for 15 months. My mother brought him that evening and he walked up to her, then quickly walked away not having any clue as to what was going on. He eventually gave her a kiss after we told him that this was "the baby." It was a sweet moment and I knew our family felt complete.

40 weeks

Our daughter hasn't arrived yet but let me tell you that it physically feels like a slow and painful death. I have been having contractions lasting an hour (you know, the whole 5-1-1 rule) for about 2 weeks now but it's never progressed passed that. As a result, it's left me with an aching back and sleepless nights. And of course with all of that going on I've reacted in a really crabby way. I just feel moody and tired.

Last week when I had a check up, they told me I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced which means there's progress. That was pretty exciting to me and it gave me that boost of perseverance that I needed to get through all the physical torture. Well another week went by and today I had my last appointment. They checked me and I hadn't progressed at all. I was so discouraged and still am. I thought for sure I'd progress since then.

I decided to ask my doctor if I could be induced but she said it wasn't an option because I had a previous C-Section with Brayden and they worried of a ruptured uterus. Sounds scary and painful. What else could I do? I couldn't imagine going another week and waiting till the 25th to get a C-Section. I Then asked if there were a day earlier than the 25th that I can schedule a C-Section instead. The only day she had open for her to do it was this upcoming Tuesday, the 22nd. It also happens to be Nathan's birthday. Ugh!

Nathan and I talked about it because I wanted to know how he felt about sharing a Birthday with our daughter. I felt fine with it because to be honest, you never really celebrate one's birthday on the actual day. I'd most likely wait till the weekend to have a birthday party and have friends and family come over. Nathan said that he knows his birthday would be pushed aside from now on. I reassured him that I'd never not celebrate his birthday separately. Ultimately, he said he wanted me to be comfortable and he feels really bad that I've gone so long in the condition I've been in.

We're still hoping she'll come on her own. We only have this weekend. I'll be taking lots of walks and trying to get this baby wiggled out of me as much as I can. But then again, she just might be as stubborn as I am!

Brayden is doing really well. THANK GOD he can climb up the stairs by himself. He's fascinated with balls, cars anything with wheels and "poons" (spoons). He dances to the Peanut Butter Jely song from one of the applications on my iPhone. It's soooooo freaking cute. His memory is so good. The words that I taught him months ago he still remembers even when it's been a while that I've gone over them with him. He's really social and LOVES it when we have visitors stop by the house.

He's just such a great kid with a fun personality. Let's just hope he doesn't accidentally step on his sister's head or anything. At his age, he doesn't have a clue as to the new edition to the family we will aquire in just a few days. Here are some recent pictures:

Peek a Boo!

















Brayden's morning routine: Throw everything in your crib out, and yell "uh-oh" over and over again till Mommy gets you.






















Visiting our nieces in Main to celebrate Nikki's Birthday

















Taking a hayride at Davis' Farmland.

















Brayden attempting to color for the first time. He tried eating it but soon realized it wasn't exactly the kind of yummy snack Mommy gives him.

Waiting for her arrival

Here I am at 38 weeks about to explode. I swear Nathan better not talk about more kids for at LEAST 2 years. Don't get me wrong, Brayden was worth all the aches, bloating, peeing, weight gain and wobbling. But when you only had about a 6 month break between those symptoms, there's so much wear and tear on your body. You don't get a break or a chance to get your body back.

Other than my whining, my pregnancy for our girl has been relatively smooth. Taking care of Brayden in the meantime is harder on my body but I'm doing it! I've got him going up the stairs on his own for nap times and bedtimes so I no longer have to carry him. The difference between this pregnancy and the last is that I don't have a scheduled date for delivery. That can make things really exciting. I've often asked myself questions regarding when I should set up the infant car seat, when I should have a bag packed, if I have enough food in my house in case I go tonight and my mother needs to stay here with Brayden, etc.

I went in for a 38 week ultrasound yesterday and she's so beautiful! She'll definitely have Nathan's lips. She's in the 80% growth (whatever that really means) and she's roughly 8 pounds right now. Let's hope it's less than that. Tomorrow, I go in to meet with my OB/GYN and she'll check to see if I've dilated yet and go over any last minute things. It's crazy to think that in just days, I'll be holding my baby girl.

Catching Up

Good Lord I've gone way too long without any updates! Especially since now I have to try and remember all that went on after Brayden's birthday till now. The Summer up here in Massachusetts has sucked. The whole month of June (well all except for a couple of days) it's rained. July, most of it was rain as well. We definitely took advantage of any sun we got here.

Nathan and I took Brayden to the Zoo for the first time. I'd have to say that it was a little too soon to bring him since he really couldn't focus on the animals in cages that were far away. And since he couldn't walk at the time, he was in the stroller or in our arms as we attempted to point out animals. The highlight of that day was the petting area where they had tons of little goats that you could feed. All Brayden could do was charge towards them yelling, "Dog! Dog! Dooooog!" There were moments we were a little fearful because he had no fear and some of these little goats looked like they were about to head butt him, LOL!



























































**************
For the 4th of July week we stayed down in Cape Cod where Nathan's dad has a house and cottage just seconds from the beach. It rained a good amount of the time but let me tell you when the sun came out, we were like cockroaches coming out from the darkness making a B-line to the beach. It was Brayden's first time on a beach in the sand and ocean. He absolutely loved it. Papa gave him a ride in the back of a raft and then later on took him into the water where Brayden made loud beastly sounds as he splashed violently.



And of course I had some time to make it to the Carter's Outlet with my mother in law to stock up on girl clothes. I didn't go overboard but close to it. It's way much more fun shopping for a girl than for a boy. I felt guilty buying all this girl stuff so I made sure I got Brayden some things as well. Poor guy's going to get shafted by his little sister and she's not even born yet.

Being down at the Cape with our family was really wonderful. The low tides are perfect for little ones to play in and discover all sorts of shells and critters. And the week is not complete without ordering Lobster and fresh corn from the Farm Stands. And getting the occasional after dinner ice cream down the street.






















































































About a week after we were packing again and heading down to Fripp Island, S.C. for our family vacation. Nathan's mother's side has gone for years, Nathan's gone since he was a baby so it was really special for us to bring Brayden. Last year he was just a month old and with doctor's visits and breastfeeding, I had no desire to be locked in a beach house while everyone else was out and about having a grand ol' time.

During the first two days there, I endured some serious tooth pain. I had neglected taking care of my root canal and it finally go the best of me in the worst way. I couldn't eat, sleep or keep from being distracted from the throbbing pain on the right side of my face. I had to find a dentist and get the tooth extracted. Lesson learned. I will never let a bad tooth get to that point ever again.

Fripp Island is such a great place because everyone rides around in golf carts and takes things easy. There are tons of pools you can choose from and lots of things for kids to do. They have wild deer that roam the island and are really docile. Brayden got to touch one, again, no fear in that kid. We went to the beach and pool everyday to meet up with family and catch up. Nathan and I even got to go out one night alone for dinner. We had tons of offers to babysit which was such a nice thing!

Brayden with his Great Nana and Papa:


















Kiddie Pool time with daddy:

















Life's a Beach with mommy:







































Our family picture traditionally taken on the sunset Fripper Cruise: